In April of 2023, I partook in a four-day silent retreat at the Jesuit Retreat House in Oshkosh. I had no idea of what to expect. Would I be able to stay silent that long without driving myself crazy listening to my own thoughts or the music that runs almost nonstop through my head? How would I spend all those empty, quiet hours? How do you connect with people when you can’t talk with them?
To fill what I thought would be countless free time, I brought along several books, and four legal pads to start sketching out the next four books in my writing queue.
It turns out that I didn’t even need one book. Even thought the retreat was silent for the participants, it was a preached retreat. The leader led eight 45-minute sessions over the course of the weekend, and after each session, we were encouraged to go off to our rooms or the spot of our choice on the campus to complete the accompanying worksheets.
The book outlines? Didn’t happen there, but the books were (or will be) written in due time.
Surprisingly, there wasn’t a lot of free time. I chose to participate in every opportunity afforded us, whether it was going to Mass, Confession, the healing service, praying a group rosary, participating in the Stations of the Cross, or having a 15-minute spiritual direction appointment with one of the priests or the sister on staff.
I spent as much time as I could outdoors (the late-April weather wasn’t exactly ideal). The retreat center sits along the shores of Lake Winnebago and the surroundings are not only peaceful, but beautiful too.
As far as connecting with the other women on the retreat? That actually did happen to some degree, particularly the women with whom I ate meals. On Thursday, we were able to talk from the time we got there, through dinner, and until the first session began, so we got to know each other somewhat then (note: I am related by marriage to two of the women who were at my table, so we already knew each other). Each evening after dinner, we had a set amount of time where would could converse in the library, so we got to meet and chat with more of the participants.
Not too surprising, it took me about 48 hours before my thoughts started to decelerate and I could really get into the spirit of the retreat. I enjoyed the presentations and partaking in the sacraments. (Note: most of my worksheets weren’t finally completed a few hours before the retreat ended on Sunday.)
All in all, it was a meaningful event for me. But to be truthful, I wasn’t sure if I would go on one again. But, when the 2026 signup came into my inbox, I was probably one of the first people who signed up. In 2025, I lost a dozen friends and family members, including my stepmom and my dad, so I felt drawn to attend a silent retreat again, and maybe do it better (if there is such a thing) this time around.
This April we were blessed with beautiful weather. I arrived early on Thursday so that I could spend time walking the grounds and swinging on one of the swings that overlook the lake. There is something about swinging that seems to center me, so it was the ideal way to start off the retreat. Over four days, I got outdoors every time I had the opportunity to do so.
I had invited a friend to attend, and she and I shared a table with one of my other friends (i.e. extended family member) from the previous retreat. The three other women who shared a table and meals with us were new to us, but we bonded relatively quickly.
Our retreat leader this time around was Fr. Mike Graham, who was the former president of Xavier University. His talks were so engaging, and there was only one packet for the whole retreat, so his leadership style suited me well. I had the blessing to experience the trifecta of his wisdom and teaching—I attended all of his talks, had an appointment for spiritual guidance with him, and went to him for Confession on Friday night.
Overall, this year’s retreat was so meaningful for me. It wasn’t necessarily the presenter, the leadership, or the group of women with whom I experienced this, it was me. I went in knowing more of what to expect, wore a watch so that I had no excuse to pick up my cell phone, and really opened my heart to God’s guidance in my life.
It’s hard to put into words how profound this retreat was, but I would encourage anyone reading this to give a silent retreat a try. There’s no better way to disengage from the world around you for a few days so that you can work on yourself. I drove away from the retreat center that Sunday afternoon feeling like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and that I had a clearer perspective of my life path. Who wouldn’t want that?