It was a challenging winter. My stepmom Mary had surgery on January 6, 2025, and things went downhill from there. With no recovery in sight, she was admitted to hospice on January 31 and passed away on March 9.
Due to various circumstances, including weather, travel, and the impending birth of Mary’s great-grandson, we scheduled the funeral for a month later on April 12. My dad was concerned that it was so far off because he was looking for closure after everything that had gone on in the last couple of months, but, in the end, it turned out to be the ideal day for the Mass and celebration of Mary’s life.
The weather was beautiful, all the folks traveling the day before or on that morning had ideal driving conditions, Mary’s great-grandson Arthur Joseph was able to attend with his mom and dad, our daughter Stephanie was able to fly in from Seattle, Mary’s grandson Jon was able to make it from California, and my dad’s younger brother Frank, who is my godfather, flew in from Texas.
Our youngest daughter Elizabeth flew home a week early to spend time with us ahead of the funeral. My Uncle Frank arrived Thursday and was able to have one-on-one time and a nice dinner out with my dad that evening. Our son-in-law Richie was able to pick up Stephanie at the airport in Milwaukee on his way driving in from Ohio.
Friday night there was a Lenten fish fry at our parish, so we had a group of our guests, including our three daughters, and two of our grandchildren, join us there for dinner. There’s nothing like a good ol’ Wisconsin fish fry. Everyone enjoyed the meal and comradery.
After dinner that evening, my husband John and I had the chance to have a nice conversation with my dad and my uncle. Across town, three of our children and two of our in-law children got to spend time together hanging out as well.
The bulk of the funeral planning—with input from my dad, John, the funeral home, staff at our parish, and a few other helpful people—was relegated to me. There was some anxiety when the day of the funeral arrived, but thankfully, everything went as planned. It was a beautiful and memorable Mass. Mary’s grandson Alex and our son Nick did the readings, our daughters Samantha and Elizabeth took up the gifts, and Stephanie read the Prayers of the Faithful. We were blessed to have two priests residing over the Mass, Fr. Don Zuleger and Fr. John Kleinschmidt, and the sermon that Fr. Don gave was poignant and humorous. Mary Kinderman played the piano and beautifully led the songs that our Mary had requested for her funeral Mass, including “On Eagle’s Wings,” “Be Not Afraid,” “Here I Am Lord,” and “How Great Thou Art.”
After Mass concluded, we had time for fellowship and lunch. It was so nice visiting with Mary’s sisters and brother-in-law, and nieces and nephews of hers that we hadn’t seen in years, plus friends and neighbors who were mourning her passing. The food catered by Van Abel’s of Hollandtown was delicious and the service was outstanding. There was more than enough food to serve the crowd, and the leftovers were packaged up and sent home with us.
That evening John and I hosted a pizza dinner at our house, which included not only our children, in-laws, and five of our eight grandchildren, but my uncle, my dad, my oldest brother Gordon and his son Jack. Eighteen people all together. It was a bit chaotic with the kids running around having fun, but groups of people did manage to carve out the time and space to chat, including my brother, my uncle, my dad, and me who got the dining room to ourselves after dinner.
Sunday saw the departure of almost all our relatives except Samantha, Ryan, and their children, as they chose to stay in town another week to spend Easter with us. Our last guests said goodbye on the Monday after Easter. That adds up to 17 days of guests, which is a lot for two empty nesters, but we always enjoy having company—particularly when it’s our children and grandchildren.
Who knows when we’ll all be together again. It seems that at this stage in life, there are more funerals on the horizon than weddings. But, regardless of the circumstances, we love spending time with our children who are scattered from the West Coast to the Midwest, and it’s a joy watching our grandchildren interacting with each other.
While it wasn’t the ideal situation to connect us, we certainly made the best of it. Which may just be a good way to look at any situation that life presents us. I have a feeling that Mary was watching from Heaven with laughter on her lips and a smile on her face. Thank you, Mary, for this gift of family and fellowship!