We’ve all heard the expression, “It takes a village to raise a child.” There is truth in that, but recently I’ve come to learn that it takes a village to care for the elderly too.
The Emergency Situation
My 86-year-old dad had a fall while stepping out of the shower at the end of January. By chance, that was the same day that his wife, my stepmom, who’d had major complications following a surgery earlier that month, transitioned from rehab to hospice care. After four days in the hospital, my dad was moved to rehab too. Thankfully, it was the same facility where my stepmom was receiving hospice care, so they could see each other almost daily.
After three weeks, Dad was discharged. If he’d been open to it, we would’ve found an assisted living place for him to move to. However, he really just wanted to go back to his home and the life that he enjoyed, even if his wife wouldn’t be able to join him. Even though my stepmom had health issues for a number of years, the two of them looked after each other. With my dad going through cancer treatment for the last year and a half, he’s had a number of falls, and my stepmom was the one to call the neighbors for help or to reach out to me and my husband to run over to assist him back to his feet.
It was somewhat frightening to bring my dad back to his house when I knew I could spend some time with him every day, but I couldn’t be there with him 24/7. He was so frail after all he’d gone through (not only the fall but subsequently pneumonia, gastrointestinal issues, and Influenza A all over the course of 21 days). I was concerned how he’d make it through his day-to-day activities.
Our Family’s New Normal
I’m overwhelmed by the number of people who have stepped in to help. Before we even got my dad to his house, my stepbrother’s wife spent a Friday evening and most of the day Saturday cleaning the house top to bottom. I could’ve cried when I walked in and saw the house in pristine condition.
While Dad was in the rehab facility, his next-door neighbor took charge of snow blowing and would run his vehicle every few days to make sure it would still start after a month of sitting in the garage during the cold month of February. Now that my dad’s home, this gentleman and his wife bring his mail up their steep driveway and hand-deliver it to him every day. Plus, that neighbor is a handyman and has done a few minor projects around the house that needed to be taken care of.
The lady across the street, who loves to bake, brings over treats and a share of healthy food, and gives my dad the daily paper to read after she finishes it. The family next door brings their 1-year-old and 3-year-old boys over to visit every so often. Their energy really brightens my dad’s day.
The couple two doors down brought their two teens to visit last weekend. One of their children will be mowing my dad’s lawn this summer. Other neighbors have stopped in to see him and sent get well cards. My aunts and uncles have been checking in on him and offering whatever help they can from where they live.
All these acts of kindness, whether big or small, add up. Honestly, I don’t know how my husband and I would’ve handled everything that’s been going on the last couple of months without this demonstration of neighborly love, most from people we’ve never even met. I truly hope, after this experience, that when we recognize someone in need in the future, we’ll step up and do something tangible to help them as well. It takes a village to take care of all of us.